Finally,... I have the chance to connect to my soul which I've been ignoring for quite a while. After being in silence for so darn long, I just have so much things to share and tell to my soul. First and foremost, I miss pouring out my heart to my blog as I feel lucky having it to channel all my thoughts, ideas, misery, disappointment, happiness, joy, sh*t and whatever not without it saying a single word back to me. To me it's such a privilege to have a place to turn to and furthermore at no charges :-)...even visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist would burn a hole in your pocket rite?
So, in case you are wondering how am I coping so far with the new job...I'd say...the job is okay, stress is high, colleagues are alright, workload is manageable...as I'm under training still, pay is good but my personal life is becoming pathetic. I mean in terms of quality time and life with family, it sucks. The fact that workplace located in the midst of Golden Triangle Bukit Bintang doesn't help much with all the traffic going crazy all day long, it's insane. Waking up at 4.30am or 5am everyday to make sure everything is well prepared for the day is just so tiring and overwhelming. Lunch box for kids, their clothes for the day, laundry, dish washing, getting them ready for school, just about anything that I normally do even before I started the new work but the difference is now I have limited time to do it and everything is just rush, rush, rush which led me to questioning myself again...
Where am I going??? Where does all things lead me to???
To be honest, I don't know the answer and I don't even know what to think...but as for now what I'm doing is just going with the flow. I'll fly wherever my wings direct me to, I'll sail wherever the wind carries me, I'll swim and float (if I could float :) wherever the wave pushes me to and if in the end I am meant to stumble and stop. That's exactly what I'll do. I'm just a person who try to do the best for myself and for my loved ones and if one thing doesn't work, I'll just keep looking for another ways because I believe persistence and determination is the key to be applied in any aspect of life.
Oh just before I forget, remember the guy who I met in the clinic? (the big mouthed guy). I bumped into him again on the first day I reported to work and it turned out that he was actually quite a decent guy. He just need a bit of mind opening session to a whole lot larger life in this huge world and he'll be fine. You see, it only shows that everyone...me, the guy even all of us are just human being who makes mistakes, say the wrong thing at the right place or say the right thing at the wrong place :-) What we need to focus on is to learn from the mistakes and be better.
A lot has been going on for my kids too. I'm so proud of them for coping well with the transition. I know it's taking a lot from them not having their mum whose been around them for the last couple of years. They are like my tail, they'll be everywhere I go, whenever I go but since I started working again they got no option but to be independent and take it as it comes. I can't deny the fact that all of us are still struggling trying to adapt to the new life. Me with non stop list of things to do, hubby being late to work almost everyday, kids crying early morning, arriving home with kids sulking, late night and it goes on but hey,...in the end we are the ones who decide how it's gonna be done. "When life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it" and you'll be fine.
So at the moment, I'm still enjoying my lemonade with a little touch of salt and I do hope I'll keep enjoying it.
Btw, whoever came upon my blog, please excuse the grammatical errors or any mistakes in the language as I'm not perfect at it. The reason why I decided to blog in English is simply because I express myself better in English and blogging is all about self expression right? And I'm liking this silent self expression better that the verbal ones ;-)
So, in case you are wondering how am I coping so far with the new job...I'd say...the job is okay, stress is high, colleagues are alright, workload is manageable...as I'm under training still, pay is good but my personal life is becoming pathetic. I mean in terms of quality time and life with family, it sucks. The fact that workplace located in the midst of Golden Triangle Bukit Bintang doesn't help much with all the traffic going crazy all day long, it's insane. Waking up at 4.30am or 5am everyday to make sure everything is well prepared for the day is just so tiring and overwhelming. Lunch box for kids, their clothes for the day, laundry, dish washing, getting them ready for school, just about anything that I normally do even before I started the new work but the difference is now I have limited time to do it and everything is just rush, rush, rush which led me to questioning myself again...
Where am I going??? Where does all things lead me to???
To be honest, I don't know the answer and I don't even know what to think...but as for now what I'm doing is just going with the flow. I'll fly wherever my wings direct me to, I'll sail wherever the wind carries me, I'll swim and float (if I could float :) wherever the wave pushes me to and if in the end I am meant to stumble and stop. That's exactly what I'll do. I'm just a person who try to do the best for myself and for my loved ones and if one thing doesn't work, I'll just keep looking for another ways because I believe persistence and determination is the key to be applied in any aspect of life.
Oh just before I forget, remember the guy who I met in the clinic? (the big mouthed guy). I bumped into him again on the first day I reported to work and it turned out that he was actually quite a decent guy. He just need a bit of mind opening session to a whole lot larger life in this huge world and he'll be fine. You see, it only shows that everyone...me, the guy even all of us are just human being who makes mistakes, say the wrong thing at the right place or say the right thing at the wrong place :-) What we need to focus on is to learn from the mistakes and be better.
A lot has been going on for my kids too. I'm so proud of them for coping well with the transition. I know it's taking a lot from them not having their mum whose been around them for the last couple of years. They are like my tail, they'll be everywhere I go, whenever I go but since I started working again they got no option but to be independent and take it as it comes. I can't deny the fact that all of us are still struggling trying to adapt to the new life. Me with non stop list of things to do, hubby being late to work almost everyday, kids crying early morning, arriving home with kids sulking, late night and it goes on but hey,...in the end we are the ones who decide how it's gonna be done. "When life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it" and you'll be fine.
So at the moment, I'm still enjoying my lemonade with a little touch of salt and I do hope I'll keep enjoying it.
Btw, whoever came upon my blog, please excuse the grammatical errors or any mistakes in the language as I'm not perfect at it. The reason why I decided to blog in English is simply because I express myself better in English and blogging is all about self expression right? And I'm liking this silent self expression better that the verbal ones ;-)
