To start with...Alhamdulillah, praises be to Allah as to my SURPRISE, I did get a call from Amex on Monday morning telling me that I'm hired. Right after I hung up the phone I didn't really know how to react. Should I be happy? Scared? Sad? Excited? Anxious? But one thing for sure, I was dumbfounded! Everything started rushing through my scattered mind. Daycare, long hours, quality time with hubby and children, rest, chores, work commitments. My mind was like going through a slideshow presentation of all the possible things that I'm gonna have to go through once I started with the new job. Well, life is not easy right? First step is always the hardest to take, so be bold and brave to face whatever life may throw at you.
Why is all the mixed feeling?Hmmm... I have not been working permanently for like 5 years now and for the last 1 year I have been doing freelance work such as translating tv subtitles, mystery shopping and helping my sister out with her daycare center. I've got to tell you what I love the most about doing freelance works were the ability to do the works at my own pace and my own comfort and on my own comfy bed hehe..:) When I do go out for my mystery shopping works occasionally, I'll have my three kids all around me as the contributers in observing how the outlets I'm assigned to perform in terms of service and environment. I know, I know...the works sound so cool but the pay isn't. One thing in doing freelance work is when the job volume is high, you'll feel like you're in heaven but when it isn't, you just hit rock bottom! Especially nowadays more people are working as freelancers which means the potential of getting lots of jobs are getting smaller and smaller by day. Well, i'm not sure about other freelancers but in my case, that's what happened.
Life with 3 growing kids and 2 big bellies is demanding a lot especially almost everything in the world now is getting more expensive. I can't bear it any longer to see my hubby working till dawn and not having his proper sleep and time with children. I made up my mind, I'm gonna go for the job. Even I know the job requires me to work on staggered hours based on shift as it's a worldwide service but I do hope in the end my hubby and I will get equal time to spend with children, equal time to rest and equal money to spend. After all, isn't marriage is about sharing? :-) And to look at it positively, my children will also be able to improve on their social skills and be more independent and confident. I'm not saying they aren't but come on...I'm just trying to provide some comfort to myself...
Furthermore, what I like the best is that I'll be able to start paying my debts and study loan that I've loyally ignored since I unofficially graduated :-) Whoa...I'm full of worries of what's gonna happen but hey, who am I to worry? I can't predict the future but what I can do is to pray, giving my best effort and the rest is up to HIM. IsyaAllah everything will be fine. As for now it's about time for me to do my duties; duty to provide love and care for my children, duty to help my hubby, duty to help my mom, duty to payback my debts and so forth. Wait...I won't call it my duties, I'll call it my responsibilities :-)
All the best to me xoxo
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